


That Smile of Yours

by megapidgeots



Series: Galar Power Couple(s) [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Trans Dande | Leon, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megapidgeots/pseuds/megapidgeots
Summary: Raihan saved Leon's life when they were twelve. They've been inseparable since.Leon has been in love with Raihan since they were fourteen. When he loses his champion title, he stumbles out of the proceeding interviews, unsure of who he is, or what to do. What he does know is that Raihan has always been there.And so he seeks him out.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Series: Galar Power Couple(s) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612522
Comments: 84
Kudos: 668





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Re-appears after two years of not posting anything to drop a Pokemon fanfic at your feet. These two have me feeling emotions. Never thought I'd write for a pairing that wasn't f/f

The crowd is deafening. Leon throws off his cap and congratulates the new champion, his voice ringing across the scorched field, loud enough to be heard by those in the front row. His challenger is Hop's friend, he knows. Hop's friend, who saved the region from Eternatus. Not him. The kid deserves this win, but Leon's chest is aching painfully. He wants to leave, but he knows that won't be possible for a few hours. He needs to steel himself off, focus on something else. He turns towards the entrance to the stadium, and sees Raihan standing there, a gentle smile softening his features. Leon smiles back, to which Raihan tilts his head, arms crossed across his chest.

He mouths something to Leon, but the champion – former champion – can't make it out.

The new champion – Victor – stands next to him now, brown eyes brimming with tears. Excitement. He recalls how he felt on this same day, six years ago. It feels like it's been longer. It feels like it's been no time at all. Leon allows tears to fill his own eyes, only for a moment. He'll have a proper cry later, maybe. He reaches out and shakes Victor's hand.

His voice doesn't feel like his own as he announces the new champion to the crowd. His head feels cloudy, dizzy. The shouts muddle together and it's like a crescendo of noise descending upon him, suffocating him. He wants to be anywhere but here, but he keeps smiling.

When the two turn around to exit, Raihan is gone, leaving only interview teams in his wake, and Leon feels his stomach twist. He feels tears threaten to fall from his stinging eyes, as if Raihan being there was the only thing keeping him together, and maybe it was. It wouldn't be the first time.

* * *

**Ten Years Ago**

**Leon, Age 12**

**Wild Area**

Leon's Charmeleon was strong. When he jumped into dynamax dens – something Sonia hated – he was always the most powerful Pokemon there. That was what he had been doing all day, fighting dynamax Pokemon after dynamax Pokemon. He never caught them. He tried a few times, and they always broke out, but he sure had a lot of berries and technical records, now. He'd taught his Charmeleon flamethrower with one, and now he was kicking even more butt.

Sonia's dad wasn't doing well. Leon had wanted to go with her to visit him, but she didn't want him to. It secretly hurt his feelings, but he didn't say so. He had a lot of feelings, and it always felt like too much. Like if he talked about them he wouldn't be able to stop, and then no one would like him, or something like that. It might be dumb, but it was what he thought.

What was really dumb was how lost he was.

Hail pelted him harshly, and although he clung tightly to his Charmeleon, he was freezing, his breath came out in puffs in front of him, and his Charmeleon cooed quietly, something like concern coloring his expression. He needed to set up camp, soon. He'd intended to get back to the meet-up spot, and nap on one of the couches in the train station, but without Sonia, he hadn't been able to find it. At one point, he'd tried to call his friend, but she hadn't picked up. She hadn't responded to his text messages, either, and if Leon wasn't worried about her dad, he might be annoyed.

“Okay, Flicker,” he said, placing the Charmeleon on the ground. The Pokemon tilted his head as his name was spoken. “I'm gonna make some curry and uh- set up camp.” He crouched down, the packed snow soaking through his pant legs and sending a shiver through him. He dug through his bag, removing his gloves so that he could rummage easier. Maybe something spicy? He had some spicy berries somewhere here, didn't he?

A blast of fire shot past his ear, incinerating his train of thought, and singing his ear. Leon fell backwards with a yelp. He grasped frantically at his long, purple hair, checking for any signs of singing. His hair had caught fire before. Not fun. “Flicker, what the-”

Leon's almost-cuss was cut off by a feral roar. He froze in place, wishing for the ice to consume him, because he knew that cry anywhere. He knew that if you heard that cry, even distantly, you ran in the opposite direction as fast as you could. That was the number one rule of the wild area. Leon turned around, trembling. A massive pink head stared down at him, lips pulled back in an angry, hungry smile. Bewears weren't sneaky. How had this one--

It roared. Really roared. It sounded sort of squeaky, really, but Arceus above, Leon knew this thing could kill him by looking at him wrong. He was gonna die.

Flicker tugged at his pant leg, a whimper sounding from him, and Leon snapped back to reality. He turned and ran, tripping immediately over his bag. Berries tumbled onto the ground, and his bare hands felt like they were burning with cold, but Leon didn't have time to care about that right now. He had to go, go--

He ran. He ran until his chest felt like it was going to burst. The fire on his Charmeleon's tail was twice its usual size, and the Pokemon left a trail of melted snow behind him as he ran. Eventually, Leon had to choose between dying from a collapsed lung, or possibly dying from a Bewear. He stopped, chest heaving painfully as he doubled over. His hands clasped his knees and he looked behind them. No Bewear. No camp stuff, either. Leon shuddered and fell into the snow, a groan escaping him. Flicker let out a soft whine and curled up next to his trainer.

“Sorry, Flicker.” Leon rasped. He was going to die. He was going to die in the wild area, alone, before he even registered for the gym challenge. He closed his eyes. He breathed slowly. He felt flicker curl up on his chest and nuzzle his neck.

He was going to die.

“Uh, are you alright?”

Leon's eyes blinked open, his jaw parting slightly. Above him stood a boy, about his age. His skin was darker than Leon's own, and he wore loose-fitting clothes. The sides of his head were shaved, with the remainder sitting atop his head in a pile of thick curls, and he had the most stunning blue eyes Leon had ever seen. He realized all these things before he thought to reply, or before he bothered to realize that he might not die today. Flicker stood on his hind legs and tilted his head up at the other boy.

“I'm. Cold.” Leon managed. Flicker turned to him, eyes narrowing, as if asking a question. Leon kept his eyes on the boy.

“Uh, hi Cold, I'm Raihan.” The boy- Raihan – extended his hand toward Leon, who snorted at the joke. Raihan grinned, sharp canine teeth poking out. Oh. Leon blushed. He didn't know why he was blushing- something about that smile. He took his hand. It was warm. He was warm. Suddenly. He didn't know when that had happened, or why, but he tugged his hand out of Raihan's as soon as he was standing, focusing instead on patting snow off his legs.

“I'm Leon.”

“Okay, Leon. Why are you out here, lying in the snow, without a pack?”

Leon frowned, not making eye contact. “Bewear.” He said, his cheeks feeling hot. He must look like a right idiot. Leon hated when people assumed he was daft. He wasn't daft. He was better at maths than anyone in his class. Not that it mattered, because he'd left all his homework with his pack, which was probably in a Bewear's belly by now.

“Rough,” Raihan said. He was taller than Leon, and standing close. “Well, I was gonna set up camp anyway. I'll make come curry or you and the cutie.” He leaned down to scratch Flicker's chin. The Charmeleon hesitated for a moment, before leaning into the touch, making a noise not unlike a purr. Raihan laughed and sent out his own Pokemon- a Trapinch and a Torkoal. Instantly, the area around them warmed, and Leon breathed a sigh.

“Yeah, I don't gotta worry about getting cold s'long as I have Torkoal,” Raihan said, picking through his own pack for curry ingredients. His eyes were focused, and Leon noticed that he bit his lip when he was focusing. He was tall. He had already noticed that, but he was really, really tall. “Say, could you stop staring at me for a second and help pitch the tent or something?”

Leon flinched. Staring? He supposed he had been. He cleared his throat and, not saying anything for fear of looking even more like an idiot, he began to pitch the tent, something he was, thank Arceus, good at. He didn't know if he could handle being bad at anything else.

Silence fell between them, and Leon got to thinking about everything that had just happened. His pack was gone. His supplies, his own tent, all his food. He had some money and his phone in his pocket, but the charger for the phone had been in the pack, too. His teachers weren't going to believe that a Bewear ate his homework. Sonia was probably miffed at him for not leaving her alone. Flicker probably thought he was pathetic. He'd almost died, and the only reason he wasn't dead was because of a friendly beanpole.

“You alright, mate?”

Raihan was beside him now, and Leon felt, again, like an idiot. He blinked away the tears and nodded. “Fine.”

“Well,” Raihan placed a hand on his hip, “I won't press ya, but you can talk to me, or whatever. I don't talk to a lot of people, but, y'know,” he made a vague hand gesture. “Curry is ready. It's spicy, so don't... be a wimp.”

Leon laughed at that, and Raihan smiled.

They settled in and ate. Raihan wasn't lying about spice levels. Flicker couldn't seem to get enough. He reached over when he was done with his and tried to snatch some from Leon, who responded with a light tap on the Pokemon's nose.

“Wanna battle me?”

Leon blinked. “Battle?”

“Never heard of it?” laughter echoed in Raihan's voice.

“No- yes- yeah, sure.” Leon stood, Flicker standing by his side. Maybe a battle would help shake off the whole almost dying thing. It couldn't hurt.

Raihan grinned and rose. He nodded to his Trapinch, who hobbled forward. “Alright, girl, hit 'em with a bulldoze!”

“Flamethrower!” Leon called. He couldn't let that bulldoze hit. He didn't have any other Pokemon, and he didn't want to go down easily all because of a type advantage. Luckily, Flicker was never one to be outpaced, and the jet of fire flew towards the Trapinch, hitting it just as its front legs were about to hit the ground. It cried and tumbled back, flailing a bit in the snow, before letting out a low whine and hunkering down.

“Aw, what?” Raihan grumbled, but he didn't force the Pokemon back into combat. He picked her up and let her snuggled into his jacket instead. “Come on, Torkoal. Show this lizard a real flamethrower!”

The Torkoal was slow, and Leon managed to get another Flamethrower off first, but the attack seemed to bounce off the shelled Pokemon. Its own flamethrower came in full force, sending Flicker tumbling. He wasn't out of it yet, though. The Charmeleon shook his head and bared his teeth. “Right, uh, uh- dragon breath!”

Flicker nodded affirmatively, then breathed a beam of sparking purple light. It hit the Torkoal square between the eyes, and sparks of electricity burst around the battlefield. The Torkoal grunted and tried to shake off the paralysis, to no avail.

“Fuck-- ah, sorry. Damn. Call 'er off.” Raihan stepped forward, medicine at the ready, and began to pat his Torkoal's head. The turtle let out a happy rumble in response. “That Charmeleon of yours is something else.”

Leon smiled like that, about to reply with some sort of affirmation when Raihan interrupted once again. “That smile's something else, too.” Leon faltered, his voice catching, but Raihan only snorted.

“Want to be my--” _Friend_? “Rival?” Nailed it.

Raihan paused for a moment, staring at Leon with wide eyes. Then he jumped to his feet, startling Leon, who stepped- fell- back. “Thought you'd never ask." He cleared his throat, "Ready to snuggle, rival? I'm beat, and I only got one sleeping bag.” None of this seemed to fluster Raihan at all. He wore the same wide grin, and his eyes glimmered the same way, as they had when Leon first saw him two hours ago, or a lifetime ago. Leon felt like his chest was going to explode.

Raihan had saved his life, but Leon was pretty sure that he was going to be the death of him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I decided that Leon would nickname his Pokemon, I neglected to think about the fact that I would then have to think of nicknames. It worked out, though.
> 
> Thanks for the love so far! Keep it up - I'm needy.

When Hop bursts through the crowd of cameras and bustling reporters, he looks between Leon and Victor for a moment, golden eyes wide and teary, grin plastered wide across his face. He pauses, like he's unsure who to hug first, but ultimately his arms fling around Victor. Leon watches, a small smile of his own appearing as he watches his little brother nestle his face in the crook of Victor's neck and babble something about being proud. Leon's hand is shaking, and he hopes that Hop doesn't notice when he lays it on his shoulder.

Victor is rubbing circles on Hop's back, his gaze soft and fond, and the reporters are eating it up. Leon frowns and steps in front of the cameras, “So, any questions for me?” He asks, blocking the two kids from view for a moment. Let them have their time. He knows Hop has had a crush on his rival since he met the kid. He remembers the phone calls about it. He remembers how many times he's told Hop to just tell Victor, that even if he doesn't reciprocate, they'll still be close.

Leon is a hypocrite, and he knows it. He knows that Hop knows that he's wanted to kiss Raihan since they were fourteen. Hop doesn't say anything.

The reporters aren't happy asking him questions for long, especially when he gives the same responses, over and over. Interest peaks when someone asks one question in particular, however.

“What about Raihan – will he still be your rival?”

The question strikes Leon hard, right in the chest, and though before this moment, he had never thought about it, he cannot stop now. _Would_ Raihan be his rival? His friend? 

_Always,_ Raihan's voice whispers. They're in a hotel room. It's a long time ago. It's--

* * *

** Eight Years Ago **

** Leon, Age Fourteen **

** Motostoke City **

The noise was almost too much for Leon as he entered the stadium. His clothes felt suddenly tight, and he was aware of every stray thread. He could feel the stiff number one etched into his uniform scratching against his back. He was aware of every hair that stuck out of place. He was aware of all the eyes that turned to him as he entered, flanked by Sonia and Raihan. Flicker brushed his head against his thigh in quiet reassurance, and Leon allowed himself a deep, steadying breath. 

As he exhaled, Raihan's hand clamped on his shoulder, entirely too hard, in his opinion. He flinched and frowned at the taller boy. And boy, was he tall. The past two years had given Raihan the world's most absurd growth spurt, shooting him all the way up to six feet. Leon wasn't short for his age – 5”6 and still growing - but Raihan made him look ridiculous. At least he beat Raihan on the muscle front. 

He stiffened as Raihan leaned over to whisper in his ear, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sonia raising an eyebrow. He wrinkled his nose in response, and she looked away with a snort.

“Look at that cutie over there.”

The word  _cutie_ against his ear was enough to make Leon's brain short circuit. Sonia said he had a crush. Leon argued that he just got that way over any handsome boy. Sonia argued that was what a crush was. Leon chose not to think about it. He only had two friends. He couldn't afford to think about ruining one of those relationships. 

He followed Raihan's pointing finger. He was directing Leon's attention to a slim girl, around their age. Her dark hair was dyed with streaks of blue, and by her side stood a nervous-looking Chewtle. She had her arms folded, and was laughing at something that another kid around their age, a shorter, chubby boy with pink hair, had said. For a moment, Leon's heart fluttered as he considered which one of those two Raihan might be talking about.

“Which one?” Sonia asked, saving Leon from asking himself. He shot Sonia a thankful glance, and she smiled softly, her brows knitting together. She worried about him, Leon knew. She said he didn't talk about his feelings. Leon didn't have any feelings worth talking about.

“The girl, duh,” Raihan's words struck Leon in the chest, again. Yeah, duh, who else?

“She seems nice.” Leon managed, though even to his own ears he sounded bitter. He didn't know why it mattered, or why he cared. He didn't have a crush on Raihan- he seriously didn't. It must just be Raihan's dismissal of the idea that the boy might be cute. That was it. 

“I'm gonna ask her out.” Raihan said. Leon tensed, his breath hitching, but he didn't say anything in response, and Raihan wasn't waiting for one, anyway. He strode forward, taking overly-long strides with his stupid, overly-long legs. He just walked right up to her and started talking. Like it was really that easy. Leon's eyes prickled with frustration. Flicker leaned up to lick his fingers. Leon tucked them into a fist.

“It's alright to be jealous.” Sonia's voice sounded next to him, quiet enough that only he would hear. Leon blinked rapidly and adjusted the stupid itchy collar. How was he supposed to think, or battle, or do anything like this? He shook his head.

“I'm just annoyed that, well,” he motioned towards the pink-haired boy that the girl had previously been talking to, who was now awkwardly standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets and eyes on his shoes. “He's being rude to that guy.”

“Lee, I don't think-”

“I'm going to talk to him,” Leon said, avoiding any further confrontation from Sonia. He was already feeling far, far, too many things for his liking. He covered the distance in shorter, more reasonable strides than Raihan, and smiled at the shorter boy. Arceus, he was so short – his Charmeleon went up to his chest. It was sort of cute, though he wasn't sure if he was exactly Leon's type. Not that he'd ever considered if he _had_ a type.

“I'm Leon.”

A blush crept up the challenger's neck, unmistakable. Leon smiles, and risked a glance over at Raihan, but he was immersed in his conversation with the girl. “My uh, idiot friend is Raihan.”

“I'm Milo,” the kid replied, his voice quiet, “and my friend Nessa isn't interested.”

He hated how happy that made him. Still, when he looked over at the two of them, she didn't seem entirely uninterested. She was leaning onto the conversation, an easy smile on her face. Leon clenched a fist and smiled at Milo. “Well, regardless, I wanted to say hi. You looked awkward over here, so, uh.” He motioned to his Charmelon, “This is Flicker.”

Milo blinked down at Flicker. “It's cute than you name your Pokemon,” he said, before turning around to display his backpack, out of which poked two leaf-like eyes. “This guy's just Applin.”

Leon couldn't imagine not nicknaming his Pokemon. It felt so impersonal not to. Raihan never got it, but that hadn't stopped him from spending an entire night helping Leon name his Axew. He remembered the entire night with a distinct clarity. He recalled the sound of Sonia, snoring in the tent behind them. He remembered the cool feeling of damp grass under the two of them as they looked up at the stars, lightly patting the newly-caught dragon that had curled itself on Leon's chest.

He remembered Raihan's hand brushing his several times, and the way it had made his heart pound. He remembered Raihan throwing out the worst names.

_Call him Big Chungus, Lee._

_I'm not doing that, Rai. How would you feel if your dad had named you Big Chungus?_

_Pretty fucking great._

They had both laughed at that. Raihan had rolled onto his side and looked at Axew. He never looked so soft as he did when he looked at baby dragon Pokemon. “How about Bitey, then?”

It was still a bit silly, but the way Raihan was looking at Leon when he said it made his heart hurt, and so he had agreed.

Forcing himself back into the present moment, Leon reached over and scratched Applin lightly between the eyestalks. “I guess I'm just a bit sentimental.”

Milo's sheepish laugh was cut off by the sound of the announcement system.

_**"WOULD ALL REGISTERED PARTICIPANTS PLEASE PROCEED ONTO THE FIELD."** _

“That's us I guess!” Milo's voice was chipper. He smiled at Leon, wide and genuine, and Leon smiled back, less wide and less genuine. He looked over at Raihan. His friend's fingers were laced with Nessa's. So much for being uninterested. Sonia, ever good with her timing, arrived next to him and placed and hand on his shoulder. She greeted Milo before urging the two of them forward. Without Raihan. 

The walk through the stadium passed in a blur. At one point, he was vaguely aware of Milo's hand brushing against his. Mostly, though, the noise was all-consuming. He felt like he couldn't see straight. Like he was both part of his body and not. Like his breathing was happening independently of him, but at the same time he had to force himself to breathe, like mentally performing CPR on himself.

The feeling of being in the arena, with thousands of voices cheering for him cleared his head. They weren't cheering his name specifically- not yet, anyway. But they would be, he assured himself. They heard a few people shout about a Charmeleon, and Flicker, by his side, raised his head proudly. He swore he heard people shouting  _ number one  _ at several points, too.

For a moment, he forgot about Raihan. He grinned wide, grasped Sonia's hand in his, and brought both of their hands up in a fist-pump. Sonia laughed and  _ wooped  _ along with him, the Yamper at her feet letting out excitable barks. 

But then the sounds died, and they filed back out, and Leon once again found himself looking for his rival. He wanted to battle, or at least talk. His veins felt like they were burning with anticipation, like he could go now and take out the entire league in one fell swoop. That fire turned to ice when he finally spotted Raihan. 

He was with Nessa still. He was against a wall and she was on her toes. He had his fingers wound through her hair, cradling the back of her head as she kissed him, and he kissed her, and Leon clenched his jaw.

“Leon?”

He expected Sonia to cut through his thoughts, but she was nowhere to be found. It was Milo who had spoken. His gaze was fixed on Leon, apparently unaware of his friend wrapping her arms around Raihan's neck. His wide, green eyes were fixed on on Leon, and a frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. He was so nice. He didn't even know Leon- not really, but he seemed to care. 

Leon took a deep breath and led Milo away, taking the shorter boy's hand is his own. He led them to an area – down a hallway, past some bathrooms, where almost no one was. Leon took a deep, shaky breath and pressed his back to the wall. Milo looked around them, his fingers still tangled with Leon, a deep blush rising onto his freckled cheeks. Leon had always liked freckles. It was part of the reason why, when he was still figuring things out, he'd decided to kiss Sonia. The other reason was that, given they were best friends, he'd figured that if he was going to like any girl, it would be her.

They had both been twelve, and they'd both pulled back with comic disgust after a few seconds, and nothing had changed. He wondered if, maybe, he could kiss Raihan and nothing would change. Maybe he could kiss Raihan, and it wouldn't be that great, and he would never have to be jealous again. Somehow, he thought this probably wouldn't be the case. He sighed and looked down at Milo, who was fiddling with Leon's fingers and smiling, still. 

Leon turned and brought his free hand to touch Milo's cheek. He tilted the shorter boy's head upwards and met his gaze. Milo was shaking, and Leon offered a soft smile that he hoped would reassure him. 

“May I?” he asked. He didn't know why he was doing this, but Milo was cute. Milo was cute and he was there. 

It was selfish, but that was a thought for later. 

“Y-yeah.” Milo managed. 

So Leon kissed him. He leaned forward, and their lips met, and it was abundantly clear that Milo had absolutely no clue what he was doing. His hands trembled, and Leon squeezed the one that was tangled with his softly. He lowered his other so that it was placed lightly on Milo's back. Milo's free hand rested on his shoulder, and Leon let out a soft laugh, which seemed to calm Milo down somewhat, before continuing. It was soft, and not too messy – they didn't open their mouths much, and aside from a bumped nose, it went without incident. Still, when he pulled back, Milo was a blushing mess. 

It felt nice, and Leon had a pleasant warm feeling in his stomach afterwards. Milo was stuttering, his hands freeing themselves from Leon so that he could fiddle with his thumbs. “Thanks – Thanks, but I gotta go! I--” Milo dropped his face into his hands and stumbled off.

Leon didn't follow him. 

An hour or so later, after locating Sonia, who expressed wanting to go out to an “actual” restaurant, Leon was back in the hotel lobby alone, shitty takeout in hand. He dragged his feet up to the room he shared with Sonia and Raihan, his mind fixed on watching some sort of competition cooking show while he ate. When he opened the door, he found Raihan, sitting on the king-sized bed they had all decided to share, already doing just that. He waved at Leon and, not knowing what else to do, Leon sunk into the bed next to him. 

“Nessa wasn't interested in me.” Raihan mumbled around a mouthful of noodles.

“She looked pretty interested when she was snogging you earlier,” Leon said as he opened a box of sweet and sour pork. 

“You saw that?”

“ _Yop.”_

Raihan shifted under the blankets. He looked at Leon for a moment, before shifting his gaze back to the television. It was set to  _ The Great Galar Bake-Off _ , which Leon, most days, would be enamoured with. Today, he was staring at Raihan's profile as he awaited a reply. “She wanted to try to kiss a bloke. Didn't like it.” 

“Ah.”

“Yeah.” 

Leon turned his attention to the television then, lifting his food with a fork. Raihan laughed at one point because he got a bunch of sauce on his chin. It wasn't his fault- the people on the telly had been down to ten seconds, and he couldn't well look away at that moment. 

Silence fell between them for a long while, as they ate and watched, and as Leon mentally replayed the events of the day, someone said, “I'm gay.”

It took him a moment to realize that  _ he  _ had said that. Raihan blinked at him, mouth parted slightly. Leon tensed, his eyes turning into saucers. He thought they might pop out of his head. He thought his head might fall off, somehow, from how hot it was. Raihan took a moment, looked down at his noodles, then said, “That's cool, mate. I guess that's why you were so strange when I called Nessa cute. Don't get it, yeah?”

Yeah, that was it. Leon shrugged.

More silence followed. They finished their meal and silently showered, changed, and crawled into bed. It was normal. It was routine. That didn't stop the ache in Leon's chest, however, as he rolled onto his side and found Raihan looking back at him. He bit his bottom lip. 

Raihan smiled. “I hope I wasn't too much of an arse today.”

He had been. Ditching your friends on one of the biggest days of your collective lives wasn't cool. But Leon wasn't exactly better, so he didn't say anything. “You're fine.” He said.

He wanted to kiss the smile off Raihan's face, because Sonia had been right. Sonia had been right, and he did have a crush. He had a crush on Raihan, and Raihan hadn't shown any signs that he might feel the same way. He hadn't even indicated if he was interested in boys. Leon decided this was another feeling he ought to keep inside. 

“You still want to be my rival?” He found himself asking, his voice heavy with sleep.

Raihan smiled and reached over to gently brush a stray strand of hair behind Leon's ear. It was affectionate and warm, and Leon had no idea what to make of it.

“Always, Lee.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I would get another chapter out before 2019 ended, and it's 7:20 on the 31st here, so I guess I did! 
> 
> THANK YOU for all the kudos and especially thank you for your kind words! They keep me going

Eventually, Leon has to regain his composure. He has to answer the question. He musters as much confidence as he can and replies. “Raihan and I have been rivals since we were twelve. Nothing will change that.” He hopes it's true. Raihan has always pushed him to be his best self, even when they argued, or otherwise disagreed. “He's my best friend.” That part, at least, he's confident in. Sonia is his best friend, too, and she knows that, but bringing that up in interviews always brings unwanted questions about potential romance between the two. Leon, in spite of six long years as champion, has never discussed the matter of his sexuality. Rose had always said that it would be more trouble than it was worth, usually followed by him reminding Leon that if he chose to have relations with anyone, they had to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Aside from a couple of one-night stands, though, his time as champion had been rather uneventful in that regard. It's been eight years since he realized he had a crush on Raihan, and the feelings hadn't ceased.

“What about Sonia – there are rumors that the two of you might be perusing a romance.”

The rumors likely came from the interviewer's head approximately four seconds before she spoke them. When he was still champion, Rose had advised that he answer this question with a vague “no comment”. But he isn't champion now.

“Sonia and I are not, and will not _ever_ be in a relationship.” He says firmly. Now, he's beginning to make his way towards the door. He's done with interviews. His chest is starting to hurt.

He would never be in a relationship with Sonia. He's in love with his other best friend.

“I'll buy your sweater off you,” he whispers to a man about his side, who surrenders the garment and refuses payment. Leon sighs and slips it on and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He raises the hood and shuffles out into the darkening evening.

**Seven Years Ago**

**Leon, Age 15**

**Route Six**

The sun beat down on the trio, unrelenting. It was an uncomfortable, humid heat. One that had them all feeling restless and easily irritated. Even the Pokemon seemed to be feeling it, aside from their fire types. Flicker was lounging lazily on a rock, basking in the glow of the sun.

Lucky bastard. Leon was sweating, his breath coming out painful and ragged as he faced down Raihan, whose shirt was drenched through.

“You know, you two really ought' to consider that maybe, the best place to sort this isn't in the middle of a route, right before sunset, miles away from any Pokemon center.” Sonia's voice echoed uselessly across the battlefield. She was leaned against her Boltund, who looked about as exasperated as she did- insofar as a Boltund could look exasperated. Its eyes were narrowed, but it could just be sleepy.

Bitey the Axew grunted in front of Leon, drawing his attention away from Sonia. Raihan's Vibrava was on its last legs, buzzing its wings weakly. He and Raihan were only using half their teams for this round, but his Drizzile, Sniper, had made quick work of his rival's first two Pokemon. Raihan looked frustrated, he realized. Leon stood up straighter and frowned.

“Rai?” he said, tilting his head slightly. The lanky boy blinked, frowned, and returned his Vibrava to its Pokeball. He stuck his hands in his pockets then, refusing to make eye-contact with Leon. Leon returned Bitey to her ball in turn and took a step forward. “Rai, are you alright? Got sand in your eyes or something, mate?”

Raihan snorted, “Sand in my eyes?” his voice was loud, angry – more angry than Leon had heard him before, and even Sonia sat up straighter when she heard it, so it definitely wasn't just Leon being sensitive. “ _Fuck_ , mate, this is your sixth win in a row- I'm bloody well _frustrated.”_

Leon swallowed. He didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't like he could throw a match. Raihan would  _know_ if he did that, and he wouldn't be happy about it. “You're an amazing trainer, though, Raihan. You have four badges, and you hardly even broke a sweat.”

“I want to beat _you,_ Leon.” Raihan's jaw was clenching, a bad habit of his. His doctor had once warned him that, if he kept that up, he'd get lockjaw, and so Leon made a very well-timed and well-advised comment.

“Unclench your jaw.”

“Unclench your ass,” Raihan practically growled the words. He ground his teeth together, then, removing his hands from his pockets, he tossed his arms into the air with a sigh, “ _Sod off, Lee_. I'm gonna take a nap.” Leon couldn't have replied to that, even if he had known what to say. He watched, shoulders slumping, as Raihan threw open the flap of their tent and vanished within. 

Leon opened his mouth, then snapped it shut, before flinging his own hands into the air. Flicker looked up, head tilting. “He- just,  _uhg!”_ Leon stomped to Flicker's side and sat down, earning a grunt of acknowledgement from the Charmeleon. He would probably be evolving soon, he knew. It was weird to think about, after three years as a Charmeleon, but his color was lightening, and wings were starting to sprout out his back. Most of the evolution process was pretty sudden, but if one was paying attention, they could always see those tell-tale signs. He thought that Raihan's Vibrava was close to evolving, too.

He glanced at the tent, feeling dread curl up in his belly. How long would Raihan be mad at him?

“Lovers' quarrel.” Sonia practically sang the words as she sat up straighter, propping her sunglasses up onto her forehead. Leon shot her a glare, which did nothing to wipe the grin off her face. 

“I'll turn this ship around, then you'll never get Kabu's badge,” Leon said. He reached into his backpack and pulled out his history homework. They had to go back for exams soon. Most schoolwork could be done on the road- given how common the league challenge had become, but exams had to be done at the school proper. 

“I don't care that much. I told you that,” Sonia scratched behind her Boltund's ears, looking distant. Leon frowned, running his finger under a line about the Kantonian industrial revolution so that he could trick his brain into actually reading it. 

“I heard Nessa's around there, visiting family,” Leon said, in a similar rhythm to how she had said her _lovers' quarrel_ comment. Raihan, thank Arceus, had gotten over her fairly quickly, only to hand his crush over to Sonia, who had held onto it for the last year. Sonia had no reply for that. She cleared her throat and knocked her glasses back down onto her nose. 

“He'll be fine, you know. You two always are.”

Leon shot Sonia a grateful smile, but worry still nagged at him. Bitey had broken out of her ball- a bad habit Leon hadn't bothered to break her out of. She curled up on his feet as he went over the same paragraph of Kantonian history again, and again. He hummed quietly to himself, sending occasional glances over at the tent. The two of them did fight, and they were always okay. But this time had been different. He'd never seen Raihan so upset. 

He had mentioned going to stay with his family in Hammerlock for the summer. It was clear they weren't going to beat all the gyms in time for this year's tournament, so he said he may as well visit home. It had been so long since the three of them had spent more than two weeks apart. What if he stayed mad? What if he dwelt on it the entire three months? What if he and Leon never made up? Leon swallowed, his palms feeling suddenly sweaty and uncomfortable. He shut his textbook and stuffed it back into his bag. Behind him, Flicker was giving him a knowing look. 

“I can't lose to him on purpose, and he doesn't want me to apologize. But I can't just sit here and do nothing.” He stood, earning a sharp whine from Bitey. Flicker yawned and stood up, staring at his trainer through narrowed eyes, as if saying _you very well could do nothing, instead of interrupting my nap_. But Leon chose to ignore the look. “There are Axew around. Maybe he'd like one of his own.” Bitey perked up at that. She always liked seeing others of her species. Shooting a triumphant grin Flicker's way, as if he had won and argument, he took off in search of tall grass.

“Remember, it's the _shiny_ Applin you want!” Sonia called after him. He ignored her. 

There weren't any Applin on route six. 

Axew were there, but they were rare. You had to step on a hundred Silicobra and two hundred Yamask to get to one, he thought. Bitey looked disappointed. “I'm sorry, girl,” Leon muttered as she fought off another Yamask, wide purple eyes searching the area around her for the promised Axew. “We'll find one soon.”

Soon was a relative term, but even by Leon's optimistic standards, spending two hours in the grass to spot only two Axew was a bit much. They'd both run away, too, and he had been forced to console Bitey as she wept, as if she thought them running away was her fault, or some affront to her character. Like trainer, like Pokemon, he supposed. He sighed and returned her to her ball, and this time, she didn't break out. Flicker continued to trail behind, having lost interest over an hour ago. 

Leon was about ready to give up for the night himself, though the anxiety in his belly had only grown in intensity since he left camp. He swallowed a lump in his throat. Arceus, he was going to look like a right idiot coming back with nothing, and Raihan was still going to be just as annoyed with him. He breathed a shaky sigh, then flinched as he felt a tug on his pant leg. He looked down. Flicker was pointing, his tail waving like an eager Boltund. He followed the direction he was pointing, and-

_A shiny Axew_ . He noticed right away. The purple around its neck was a dead giveaway. Leon felt like he could scream, or throw up. He'd never even seen a shiny before, and one so rare? He knew what shiny Haxorus looked like. It was one of those shiny Pokemon that everyone claimed their dad had for bragging rights on the playground.

Maybe Arceus was up there, and maybe it cared about Leon maintaining his relationship with his best friend. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a quick ball. His only one. He didn't want to risk weakening the little dragon at all, even the tiniest bit. He clicked on the button at the center of the ball, and smiled as it grew to fit comfortably in his palm. Without another moment of hesitation, he tossed it. It arced in the air, landing directly on the Axew's head. The Pokemon let out a startled cry, before vanishing in a flash of light.

Leon didn't wait, nor did Flicker, who seemed suddenly as excited as he was. They scrambled to where the ball had landed, ready to react should the Axew break out. But it didn't. The ball clicked before shrinking back to its original size. Flicker let out a sharp cry and butted her head affectionately to Leon's leg. Leon, tears pricking at his eyes, leaned over to pet his head. 

“Arceus above, Leon, there you are.”

Leon whirled, his heart thumping painfully in his chest. He hadn't anticipated anyone sneaking up on him, never mind Raihan. His jaw dropped when he saw his friend. His friend's eyes were wide, his fists clenched, but he didn't look mad, he looked worried. “We were-  _I_ was scared you got lost. You've been gone for hours.” 

Leon stepped forward. He wanted to apologize, or say something useful, but he, most of all, wanted to touch Raihan, because his friend was shaking, and he looked like he might cry, which Raihan never did. So he reached forward and rested a hand on the taller boy's shoulder. “I thought you were mad at me.”

Raihan pulled Leon into a hug, his breath shaking. “I was. I still might be? But... more at me than at you. I just- I want to be champion, Lee. I don't know what else I'd be.” Leon felt like he couldn't breathe, not with his face pressed to Raihan's shoulder like it was, but he understood what his friend was saying. He, too, didn't know what he would do if he wasn't strong enough to become champion.

“I hear the dragon-type leader is looking for a protege,” he managed to say. He pulled back then, and placed the quick ball in Raihan's hands. “They've always been your favorite.”

Raihan blinked at the ball now in his hands. “What's this.”

“Open it and find out.”

Raihan frowned, but did as instructed. When he saw what was inside, he yelped in a pitch that Leon was sure he would be embarrassed of, were he focused on anything but the little dragon now sitting in front of him. “Lee, fuck, I mean, I can't take this!” his cheeks were flushed, his hands finding their way to his pockets again, which Leon knew meant he was flustered. 

“I got it for you, though,” Leon said. He bit his bottom lip. “I was worried. You were mad, and it felt different than the other times. I can't promise you'll beat me next time – but I wanted you to know that I think you're great, and-” he managed to meet Raihan's eyes, and _Arceus_ , it was a miracle he didn't spill his feelings every time he met those beautiful pools of blue. He feels like he could be a poet, should he find the right words, or any words at all. 

“You. You're a sap, you know that?” Raihan said. He leaned over and picked up the little Axew, allowing it to nuzzle in his arms. It let out a soft coo and reached towards his long fingers. He grinned and chuckled, then wiggled his fingers around, which seemed to mesmerize the Pokemon. “I can't stay mad at you, Lee, you know that.”

“I do.” Leon stepped closer, leaning over to give the Axew a head scratch. 

“I don't know if I can take him. He's so rare. I mean, this is amazing.”

“And I'm sure the Hammerlock gym leader will be real impressed, but yeah, I'm sure. I have Bitey. I don't need another Axew.”

Raihan smiled, and it was so warm,  _Arceus_ it was warm. His eyes were kind, and for a long moment, they stood in silence, the Axew nestling itself into Raihan's hood. Eventually Raihan shook his head. “You're a sweetheart, you know that? Don't tell anyone I said that, 'cause, like, I dunno, sounds dumb, but, well, I dunno what other word I'd use to describe you right now.” He shook his head again, then returned the sleeping Axew to its pokeball. 

They stood there for a few more moments, looking over the vast dunes of sand. Leon noticed, after a moment, that Raihan was still looking at him. So, for the second time in the last few minutes, Leon managed to meet his eyes. Raihan clenched his jaw- such a bad habit, then stuck his hands in his pockets again.

“We should head back. You're my best friend, though, Lee, so don't... don't worry so much.”

Leon was a chronic worrier. He knew he'd worry about it again, but for now, he felt warm. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter before semester starts! I'll be graduating after this, after six agonizing years. 
> 
> At first, I was like "Oh, I don't know how I'll work in trans Leon", but I just woke up two days ago and went fuck it, fuck it he's TRANS!! anyway, trans leon good.
> 
> ENJOY!! I adore your comments <3

Leon feels short on breath in a way he hasn't in years. He used to get it a lot – when he wore his binder for too long, or ran too far, or Raihan's sandstorms went for longer than they ought to have. Distantly, he is aware that he's having a panic attack, or verging on one.

Champion Leon. Six years – twelve tournaments – of Champion Leon. Before that, he was trainer Leon. The favorite to win. And before that? Before that he was just a kid. And now?

Now, he really doesn't know what's next. It's raining, and that seems fitting. The hoodie he took is soaked through, but he's always been good with the cold. He doesn't shiver, but when his shoulders start to shake in silent sobs, he has a good excuse.

Useless. Useless, useless, useless-

He can't help listing off the people he's failed in his head. Mom, Hop, Sonia, Rose.

Raihan. He stops, a croak escaping him. He clamps his teeth together, and he knows more than anyone what a nasty habit that is. He clenches his jaw until it hurts, until he feels like his teeth might shatter. A voice, distantly, asks if he needs help. They don't sound like they've realized who he is, so he doesn't look up, and walks faster, towards the hotel.

It's been six years, twelve tournaments, and he can remember the day he was elected champion like it was yesterday. He can remember the preceding months. He can remember days and nights spend nestled between Raihan and Sonia in their cramped, uncomfortable tent. He can remember two months before that fateful tournament, getting top surgery because he couldn't wait anymore, and he had the money. Raihan gave him the last two thousand he needed. He said it was to pay him back for the shiny Axew, but of course it was really just because he loved his friend.

He remembered waking up, and Raihan was there, and the first thing out of his stupid, perfect mouth, was _hey, Lee, someone in the waiting room said you can pick what your nips look like – is that for real? Like, build-a-chest_. And Leon laughed and told him to shut up because laughing felt weird and kinda painful, and Raihan nuzzled his nose into Leon's hair because he wasn't allowed to hug him, and Sonia showed up a couple minutes later in tears, and it was so perfect.

The three of them haven't been together, as a trio, in forever.

He remembers the last night before the semi-final tournament six years ago.

He looks up. He's at the hotel. He was here six years ago, too.

* * *

** Six Years Ago **

** Leon, Age 16 **

**Wyndon City**

“No matter what happens tomorrow you two, we love each other, alright? All three of us.” Sonia sat at the foot of the bed, her brow knit together. She looked like she might cry. Leon and Raihan were slouching against the headboard, having just finished an argument about who had more fans. 

There weren't many competitors to fawn over this year. It was a tight race – only five trainers had actually made it through to the semi-finals, so they'd had to fill in space with some finalists from the previous year. 

Leon leaned forward, pulling his knees close to his chest. He offered Sonia a soft smile. “Yeah, it's okay, Sonia. You know Raihan and I just,” he rolled his wrist, “banter.”

Sonia sniffled. Her Boltund leaned up and nuzzled her knee, letting out a concerned whimper. She scratched behind its ears. She wasn't one of the finalists. She'd decided some months ago that she was going to take after her grandmother, and be a researcher instead. She'd continued with them, though, catching Pokemon as they went, keeping them up at all hours trying to find Pokemon that only appeared at night.

“I need you guys to promise. I need you guys to say that we'll all love each other.”

Raihan and Leon responded together. They leaned forward, grinning widely, “We love you, Sonia.” Leon gave Raihan a shove in the shoulder when he snorted afterwards.

Sonia huffed and sat back on her hands, “Now say it to each other.”

Leon flushed. He turned to Raihan. He'd outgrown the worst of his crush, he thought. He could meet his rival's eyes now without wanting to spill all his affections. Raihan rolled his eyes, but when he smiled, it looked genuine. Leon let out an undignified croak when Raihan grabbed his shoulders and pressed his forehead to the top of Leon's head. “Leon, are you listening to me?”

Leon didn't know how he could even begin to listen when his entire mind was a whirlwind, but he managed to push out, “Yeah, I'm listening.”

Raihan inhaled deeply, “Leon, I will always love you.” Oh fucking hell. “You are my best friend in the world.” Sonia coughed. “Alongside Sonia.” He pulled back then, leaving Leon staring down at his hands. He didn't know how Raihan didn't feel the heat radiating from him. He felt like he was burning. 

“More importantly,” Raihan said, breaking Leon out of his thoughts, “we need to think of victory poses for when one of us wins – every trainer has a victory pose,” he sat back, crossing his arms across his chest. “I already have mine, but you'll have to see it when I win.” 

“Guess I'll never see it, then,” Leon deadpanned, and the two went back to comfortably bickering over nothing and everything.

They passed out at half past midnight, only for Sonia nagging them. She ended up curled at the base of the bed with her Boltund, while Leon curled into Raihan's side. Comfortable. Close. Leon knew, had known for years, that his feelings for Raihan went beyond friendship, but he couldn't risk losing this. This comfortable familiarity. And so he didn't say anything. He told Sonia he was over it. He pretended that he didn't wake up in the middle of the night clutching at Raihan's pyjamas, and that when he did, he shuffled closer.

They woke up in a tangle the morning of the tournament. The first day of the rest of their lives. Leon stood in front the mirror with his loose-fitting uniform on. He breathed deeply and tapped his cheeks again and again, trying to urge the anxiety pitted in his stomach to vanish, or at least weaken. He rubbed the tips of his fingers on the short stubble along his jawline, focusing in on the prickly feeling – to get his thoughts anywhere but how nervous he was. Raihan snored until ten minutes until they had to leave. He was always that way. 

They entered the stadium together, Sonia a little ways off. She knew by now that the two of them were going to be hounded. They were popular – more popular than the other three challengers that had made it through this year. When cameras looked their way, Leon would tilt his snapback up, Raihan would throw his arm over his shoulder, and the two of them would smile. Raihan's was more of a smirk. It was familiar. 

Nessa and Milo had both also made it to the finals, and thankfully any awkwardness that might have existed two years ago seemed to have pretty much vanished. The two, like Leon and Raihan, were often paired in photos and such. They travelled together. Not exclusively, like Leon, Raihan, and Sonia, but they met up a lot. Then there was Piers, who somehow managed to be even skinnier than Raihan, and seemed to dwell exclusively in corners. He had his own dedicated fanbase, especially after he was given a wishing star but still refused to dynamax. Leon kept noting that he ought to talk to him sometime. 

Leon was the only one among them that didn't have a declared type preference. He could never just pick one. Raihan wasn't much better, honestly. He was known for dragon-types, and called himself the dragon-type master, but his team was only half dragon. Still, he had an image. Leon sometimes felt like he was all over the place. But people seemed to like that about him. He got a lot of questions about his mixed team as the small group was hustled through brief interviews and into the waiting area.

Leon sat with Raihan, hands balled into fists on his lap, and stared at the blank TV screen, waiting for the matchup listings. When the screen flashed, he felt Raihan leap to his feet next to him.

**ROUND 1**

Raihan vs. Charles (must be a trainer from last year)

Piers vs. Nessa

Em vs. Phoebe (more former challengers)

Leon vs. Milo

Leon turned and gave Milo a smile and a wave. He had gotten more muscular since their ill-advised kiss two years ago. He was still super short, and honestly, pretty cute. It was hard to stand out, though, when Raihan was the sun. He outshone everything. Leon looked back at his friend. He was smiling widely, eyes twinkling with anticipation.

“It's gonna be you and me in the last round, Lee. You watch.”

Leon smiled in turn, “I wouldn't have it any other way.” 

Raihan was called out a moment later. He shot Leon a wink on the way. Leon winked back. 

It felt like minutes later that Leon was being called out. He passed Raihan on the way, and judging by the look on his face, he had won handily. Leon breathed in, stepped onto the pitch, got into position, tapped his cheeks a few more times, bounced from one leg to the other. He felt like he was physically balancing out his energy. When he met Milo's eyes from across the field, he smiled.

His Aegislash went out first.

He won. It was sort of messy. Once Milo took out his Aegislash, Flicker came out and, well. It didn't last long after that. Milo had been a good sport about it. He gave Leon a bear hug, lifting him into the air, before dipping out, saying he didn't want to be hassled, and he had to go feed his Wooloo, anyhow. 

Raihan and Leon sat watching Nessa and Piers fight. Nessa had one Pokemon – her dynamaxed Dreadnaw. Piers had two left. He had his Toxtricity out, and Leon knew he had a monster of an Obstagoon in the back. Raihan took a sip from a bottle of water. “Y'know, Piers is kinda cute.” 

Had Leon been drinking water at the time, we would have spit it out. Raihan had never, in his four years of knowing him, ever indicated at attraction to other dudes. He hadn't really talked about crushes in general since Nessa, but still. The revelation had him spluttering. Raihan raised a brow. 

“I know it ain't conventional, but he's got that raspy voice I'm kinda into.” He drummed his fingers on the bench between them as he spoke. Leon wondered if he could make his voice raspy. It was a stupid thought. Also, he was staring. “Earth to Leon?”

“I didn't know you uh, boys.” Leon cringed at his own words. He let his face fall into his hands so he wouldn't have to make eye contact.

“Mm. Maybe exclusively. Haven't thought about it much,” He felt Raihan's hand grip his shoulder, “Did I come off straight to you, mate? I'm wounded, really.” 

“No!” well, yes, he had. Maybe as a product of Leon's own denial. “Just-” 

_**“And the victory goes to Trainer Piers of Spikemuth!”** _ the announcer's voice echoed in the near-empty waiting room. 

“Fuck yeah!” Raihan called, pumping a fist in the air. Leon was grateful for the distraction from his fumbling reply. He was even more grateful when he was called up to fight someone named Phoebe. Hopefully, Raihan would forget it all by the time they had the chance to talk again. 

A couple of hours later, Raihan and Leon were being escorted on the pitch. Together. He approached his friend, who towered over him by almost a full foot. Raihan reached forward and gripped his hand tightly. “No matter what happens, mate.” He said, meeting Leon's gaze, unwavering. “We're pals, got it?”

Leon nodded, “Got it.” 

They turned and walked to opposing sides of the field. 

The sandstorm blew around them. It caught in Leon's hair and stung his eyes. Raihan seemed invigorated by it. Their names mixed in a thundering cacophony around them as they dynamaxed their last Pokemon. It was Flicker versus Raihan's Duraludon, a Pokemon with immense power who he had only caught recently. Flicker was breathing heavily, sending plumes of smoke billowing around Leon's head. “You can do it, Flick!” he called, his voice sounding scratchy to his ears.

“Get 'em! G-max wildfire!” 

The flame heated up the entire arena. Members of the audience had to cover their eyes to avoid the glare. It shot forward, enveloping Duraludon in one explosive burst. 

When the flames cleared, Leon had won.

The cheers were deafening. He stood there, frozen in place, mouth hanging open. Flicker let out a defiant roar and took to the air, soaring over the crowd, riling them up more. 

“Catching flies, Champ?” Raihan was beside him now. He reached over and tapped the bottom of Leon's jaw up. He breathed a heavy sigh. “I'm gonna beat your ass next time.”

Leon blinked. Raihan was tense, even through his smile. Upset. Leon felt tears creeping up on him before he could stop them. He lunged forward and pulled Raihan into a hug, which inspired a chorus of laughter and loud  _ aww- _ ing from the audience. He didn't care. He crushed Raihan, nuzzling into his chest.

“Stop crying, dork,” Raihan whispered into his hair, but he was laughing, and Leon swore, though Raihan would deny it to hell and back, that he felt a few tears leave Raihan as well. They pulled back, only for a moment, before Leon was pulled away for interviews. 

“Order Kantonian! Use my card!” he called over his shoulder. Raihan rolled his eyes, but when he got back to the hotel, there was his usual order on the bedside table.

Within twenty-four hours, Leon was Champion of Galar. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purposes of this, Unova is a stand-in for the United Stated, and "Unovan" = "American", basically
> 
> I always have to have at least one silly rom-com trope in my ship fics. I just think they're delightful
> 
> Small emetophobia warning for this chapter, as well as alcohol
> 
> As always, I greatly value the support

Leon's legs feel like lead as he makes his way up the stairs. He asks the concierge what room Raihan is staying in, and she tells him, of course. His legs, shaky with exhaustion, ache as he ascends. He could use the elevator, but he wants to feel the strain in his legs as he climbs up the seven flights. The room Raihan has been set up in is a luxury suite. It's the one he always requests, and Leon smiles a little as he recalls the one year he hadn't stayed in it, and he didn't stop complaining the entire time he was there. He'd pout – actually _pout_ about it. 

In spite of his anxieties – that everyone will hate him, that Raihan might be mad, or not want to talk to him, Leon doesn't hesitate before knocking on the door. He stands, arms slack against his sides, feeling his soaked clothes cling uncomfortably to him. It feels like hours before Raihan flings the door open. 

His expression is soft, kind. His brows are knitted together a tiny smile quirks at the corner of his lips. 

Leon begins to sob. 

He feels Raihan's long, thin arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him in closer. He feels his cap slip off of him, only for Raihan's mouth to press onto the top of his head. Leon's hands bunch into the fabric of Raihan's hoodie. Raihan is soft and warm and smells like hot cocoa.

“It's okay,” his friend whispers close to his ear. He rubs circles against Leon's back. Leon's mind is blank of everything except for raw emotion. He doesn't think about why he's crying. He feels it. He feels his mind rattle and scream and wail, and feels terrible, painful sobs escape him. He feels the fabric around his hands grow warm and wet with tears, and Raihan never stops whispering reassurances. 

“I'm here. I'm here.”

* * *

** Three Years Ago **

** Leon, Age 19 **

** Postwick Town **

Raihan didn't knock before entering Leon's apartment. He rarely did. Slamming the door, however, was not typical, and when Leon heard it, he yelped, dropped his nail clippers, and grabbed the nearest blunt object before rounding the corner, only to find his friend giving him the biggest, dopiest smile he had every seen.

Leon smiled back, a giggle escaping him.

Raihan grabbed Leon and pulled him into a hug. He lifted him into the air with a grunt and spun him around, before placing him gently back. He reached over a hand to pat Leon's head, which Leon batted away. “What was all that for?”

“Guess.”

“Uh-”

“Okay!” Raihan continued, not letting Leon respond, “you're looking at the brand-new – as of four days from now – leader of Hammerlock gym!” he finished off by mimicking Leon's signature Charizard pose. Any other time, Leon might have rolled his eyes at the display, but the news he had just received overrode that. He grinned as wide as Raihan had been when he entered.

“Holy shit!” Leon didn't swear much, but it felt like the right time.

“Yeah, holy shit!”

“We- we have to do something!”

Raihan paused, considering, then a slow smile spread across his features. “Your parents are out of town, yeah? How's about be invite all the cool league lads over?”

“I think,” Milo said, placing a can of pear cider on the table. “I'm drunk.”

Leon sat on the couch of his childhood home, cradling a beer that he'd only taken three sips of. It tasted horrible, really. Every time he went out drinking, he took a beer and told himself  _this time. This time, it won't taste like ass_ . Except it did, every time. 

He had once told Raihan that, to which Raihan had replied,  _“You're doing ass a massive disservice,”_ before taking a swig of wine, a devious smile curling on his lips as Leon spluttered in response. 

Presently, Raihan had en entire bottle in his hand, and was certainly more tipsy than Milo, who had never before this had a drink in his life.

It felt weird, being in his home without his family. They were on vacation in Kalos, seeing family, sort of, but mostly just seeing the sights. Leon had been too busy to go, which was unfortunate. He missed his mom, and he really, really missed Hop. He liked being here though, huddled up in one of his mother's hand-knitted sweaters, with Raihan pleasantly buzzed and close, an easy smile on his face. Milo, Nessa, Gordie, Piers, and Sonia weren't bad company, either.

“You're definitely not,” Nessa said from where she was slouched in a beanie chair. She wore an oversized dark blue hoodie, with the hood pulled up over her head, a stark contrast from the outfits she usually wore in public. 

Milo only hummed a reply, before reaching out, grabbing the cider, and chugging back as much as he could.

“Mate, you're gonna make yourself sick,” Raihan laughed, sending vibrations though Leon's shoulder. He looked back to realize, with only a  _little_ blushing, thank you very much, that Raihan had slung his arm around his shoulders. 

Piers, nestled against Nessa's bean-bag, blinked slowly at Milo, not unlike an affectionate cat, held up his own drink, and said, completely flat, “Fuck yeah, Milo,” before downing his own drink. 

The others followed suit, and even Leon managed to drink, though at some point he reached over and whined until Raihan traded him for the rest of his wine.

It was all rather downhill from there. 

They sat in a circle a half hour later. Raihan's wine bottle lay on its side in the middle.

“S'like in the movies,” Raihan mumbled, “like in those Unovan ones, where they spin it, then do a buncha snogging.”

Nessa, the only sober member of their troupe, sank further into the bean bag, which she had dragged to the circle, “Okay, but why?” Honestly, Leon thought that was a fair question. None of the folks around him were bad people, but that didn't mean he fancied snogging them.

“Cause it's my party an' I wanna,” Raihan replied, “if ya want, you can- can not do it. It's okay- we all love you,” Raihan shot Leon a goofy smile. Raihan was always affectionate- more so than people expected when they first saw him, but when he had a little alcohol in his system, he was downright  _sappy._ Leon grinned. 

Nessa said nothing, but leaned forward. Raihan smiled. He didn't ask anyone before leaning forward and spinning the bottle. It spun probably more than was intended, and Raihan giggled all the while. When it stopped, on Piers, the dark-type gym leader shrugged, put his drink aside, leaned forward, and tapped a finger to his lips. “Come get 'er, then.”

Raihan jumped forward, cupped Piers' cheeks in his hands, and gave a kiss with an exaggerated  _MWAH._ Piers scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Leon spun next, his insides coiling uncomfortably as he did so. He kept glancing at Raihan. He noticed Piers raising a brow at him. He looked back at the bottle. It landed on Sonia, which was a relief. He leaned over and gave her a light kiss.

Sonia wrinkled her nose, “Nasty, bro,” she said, mimicking an Unovan accent. Leon snorted and cuffed her shoulder. 

When Sonia spun, the bottle landed on Nessa, and Sonia lit up like she'd been sunburned. Leon felt himself grin as he watched her. She didn't look at him, though. Her gaze was fixed on Nessa, hands balled into fists in her lap. She waited for Nessa to give the go-ahead – they were playing spin the bottle, but they weren't barbarians. When Nessa smiled and leaned forward, Leon and Raihan shared a look, and Raihan snorted quietly. 

When Sonia and Nessa kissed, Sonia let out a little surprised noise. Nessa seemed keen to deepen the kiss, eliciting a  _whoop_ from Raihan. Sonia pulled back then, shooting her friend a glare. Raihan waved and stuck out his tongue like a fourteen-year-old. Leon chuckled, earning himself a glare from Sonia as well. 

Milo kissed Gordie, Gordie kissed Piers, Nessa kissed Sonia, and it lasted longer this time. Sonia settled practically on Nessa's lap and began to doze on her shoulder. Nessa didn't move. Piers kissed Leon, quickly, but it left him a blushing mess. 

Then it was Raihan's turn again, and Leon was suddenly way more focused on the game. Piers smiled at him and raised his brow again. Leon knew he was done for. He'd gone years with Sonia, Hop and his mom being the only people who knew, but he was absolutely sure Piers knew now. 

Raihan's spin landed on Sonia. He laughed, “Finally! My lifelong dream can be fulfilled.” They both let out roaring laughs as Raihan grabbed her face and left sloppy, loud kisses on her cheek. Sonia snorted and swatted at his head, eventually grabbing his bandana and slipping it over his eyes. Raihan cackled and stumbled back to his spot, leaning on Leon as he navigated his bandana off his face. He tossed it on the ground a few feet away. Leon smiled and brought his knees to his chest, gaze shifting fondly between his two closest friends. 

“C'mon, Lee, your turn,” Raihan said, poking his shoulder.

“Aren't we all kissed out?” Leon replied, huddling so that his mouth was pressed against his knees.

“Mmmm. One more?” 

Leon rolled his eyes, but complied. His spin landed back on himself. He laughed and kissed the back of his own hand.

“Noooooooo,” Raihan whined, “you gotta try again.” He leaned over and spun the bottle again, and this time, as fate would have it, it pointed at Raihan. Piers sat back, grinning wide and tilted his head slightly. If Leon's brain hadn't been short-circuiting, he might have asked if he wanted popcorn for the show. 

Raihan was smirking, and Leon felt like he was going to die. He was going to get a heart attack and die.  _Here lies Leon_ , Leon thought,  _age nineteen, cause of death: hot best friend_ . Raihan leaned forward, bumping his forehead to Leon's. Leon swallows.

“First one to pull back loses,” Raihan said, “you like a little competition, don't you?”

He waited for a reply. He was a cocky bastard, but he didn't cross those kind of lines. He frowned at Leon's long pause. “I'm just messing with you.” 

“Deal.” The word slipped out of Leon's mouth. Raihan didn't hesitate in kissing him.

It was intense. Raihan's fingers pressed into the sides of his face. He smelled of a strong mix of alcohol, which was far from Leon's favorite scent, but it was hard to care when he was  _kissing Raihan_ . He was barely able to respond at all. He felt overwhelmed. Overstimulated. It was good – so, so good. Even if Raihan's tongue was sort of everywhere. His stomach hurt. Raihan's hand left his cheek and he reached up to grab it. Raihan chuckled against his lips.

His stomach hurt. 

He felt Raihan's other hand slip down to rest on his shoulder.

His stomach-

Leon pushed Raihan away. Raihan threw his hands up in the air and declared his victory. Leon stood, hobbled over to the nearest bin, and turned over his stomach.

Classy. 

Milo had sympathy vomited, and it sort of put a damper on the whole thing. Once they cleaned all that up, Gordie took Milo home, thanking them for the party. Leon felt like he was going to explode. From embarrassment, but also from the memory of Raihan's lips on his, which he'd gone and ruined. He sat on the couch, chewing lazily on saltines. The remaining group, also munching on various carbs, were playing some sort of game on their phones. Leon stared at Raihan's profile. He didn't notice. He seldom did. Leon wondered if it had meant anything to him.

Not a month ago, he'd admitted to his mom, and Hop, who had overheard, that he had long-standing feelings for Raihan. She hadn't been surprised. He didn't really think she would be, but he was relieved that she was supportive. Hop had been ecstatic. He tried to convince Leon to just tell him, as if he hadn't heard that before. As if he hadn't considered it. But he loved Raihan so much it hurt. He loved Raihan so much that even a slight chance of losing their friendship was too much.

Leon had always been good at maths. It had been his best subject in school. He liked to calculate. He liked thinking about probability. He planned his battles by calculating damages, considering as many variables as he could. He battled with emotion, but beneath it all, there was a solid bedrock of facts.

Once, he'd sat down with a paper and pen, and he had written down the things that could go right and wrong if he told Raihan how he felt. He wanted to know the percentages of failure, and what might happen if he failed.

It turned out it was a lot easier to think of negative possibilities.

People said Leon worried too much, but he got to where he was by thinking, thinking, thinking. By calculating. By planning. He couldn't plan what Raihan's response would be.

So he didn't tell him.

“Well, I'm knackered,” Piers grumbled. Leon's gaze jerked towards the dark-type gym leader. Sonia and Nessa had wandered off somewhere when he'd been focused on Raihan's... face. Arceus, he wanted to slap himself sometimes. “Gonna head out. Thanks. Don't expect me to come next time.” Piers stood and made his way towards the door. Leon rose to see him out.

When they arrived at the front door, Piers hesitated. “You really 'ought to just tell him, you know.”

Leon frowned, “I get that a lot.” 

Piers met his gaze for a moment. “I figured.” He said, before opening the door and walking out. Leon stood, looking at the door as it closed, a rush of cold air blowing over him. He sighed. 

When he returned to the living room, Raihan was gone. Sonia and Nessa, he realized, were passed out on the couch. Nessa was curled on top of Sonia, her head resting on his friend's shoulder. He smiled warmly. He hoped that turned into something. They'd be cute together, even if Sonia was definitely going to wake up with sore ribs in the morning. He checked the kitchen quickly for Raihan and, not finding him there, headed upstairs. 

Raihan was in Leon's bed, on top of the blankets, scrolling through his phone. Leon settled into bed beside him and watched for a minute as he scrolled. It wasn't anything exciting, really. Just some pictures from other league members. Some challengers from last year, too – ones Raihan was scoping out to train in his gym. 

“Sorry for throwing up. It wasn't you.” Leon said.

“Wouldn't be offended if it was, honestly. I smell like shite.” 

Leon laughed. He wanted to tell Raihan more, that he had actually liked it a lot, that he wished he could do it every day. Of course, he didn't. He watched Raihan continue to scroll a while longer.

“Do you think I'll be a good gym leader, Lee?” Raihan asked. He didn't look away from his phone, but a frown tugged on his features.

“Yeah,” Leon didn't have to think about the answer, “why wouldn't you be?”

Raihan swallowed. “Just nervous. I've spent so long dreaming about this kind of thing. I think it doesn't help that no one expects me to be nervous. I have this persona, you know, online,” he opened his own profile and began scrolling through his pictures, “and I like it. It's me. I love the attention – I can admit that. I love acting like a little shit sometimes. It's funny but--” he sighed, turned off his phone, and lay it on his chest. “I don't want it to be all I am.”

Leon licked his lips absently and turned onto his side, facing Raihan. “It never will be. We all have an image we make up for the public. I mean, I'm not just some happy-go-lucky eye candy, at least I don't think.”

Raihan managed to smile, though only a little. “Nah, only half of that.” He rolled over to put his phone on the bedside table. “But yeah, you're right. Thank you. I'm glad I've got you to talk to. I don't think I could say this to anyone else.” His eyes fluttered close and he let out a long breath.

“I'm here.” Leon whispered, and he was pretty sure that was right around when Raihan drifted off. “Always.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I like how this one ended up! A bit prose heavy - hope y'all don't mind. Your support means everything to me!!

**Three Months Ago**

**Leon, Age 22**

**Hammerlock City**

“Leon, the child won again. You need to put in more training.”

“Leon, Nessa and I are having a board-game night. Want in?”

“Leon, I missed you.”

As he grew older, Leon found, more and more, that he hardly had any time to himself. Being Champion had him in a vice grip, and all he could do was struggle against its confines, all while pretending, through a big, Champion-Leon smile, that he was right as rain. He seldom got days off. Oleana and Rose always packed his schedule with interviews, photo-shoots, political visits to other regions. The first time visiting Kalos had been fun, but subsequent times, seeing Siebold's pretty face only served to remind him of hasty choices he'd made once upon a time.

When he did have days off, he was forced to choose between visiting Hop and his mother, and visiting Raihan. Every time, it felt like his heart was being pulled apart. Like he was being asked to choose between two equally weighted parts of himself. Inevitably, when he visited home, he ached for Raihan, and when he visited Raihan, he ached for home.

He was with Raihan now. He seldom had a lull during challenger season, and so when he did, and their schedules managed to align, Leon didn't hesitate to visit. He'd chosen Hop last time- to give him his starter, and his chest still ached at the thought of how much his baby brother had grown up, and how much he'd missed. He and his totally-not-a-crush, Victor, were already fourteen. He remembered leaving for his journey, twelve years ago now, and he was barely more than a baby.

The two of them sat alone on Raihan's couch, in his flat above the stadium, ready to go if he was called down for a match, hoping he wouldn't be. Leon had invited Sonia, too. She'd been a mess since her father had passed a month ago- after being in and out of hospital since the two of them were twelve. She said it had been a long time coming, but Leon knew she was upset. She had a date with Nessa today, though, and Leon knew, with a bit of a pang, that these days, she could cheer Sonia up better than he ever could.

Absently, he leaned onto Raihan's shoulder. They were watching a movie, and Raihan was nibbling on long-cold fries out of a take-out box on his lap. His rival smiled at him, and in spite of everything, in spite of the years of knowing how stupid his crush was, in spite of having kissed half a dozen league members across various regions over the past three years and pretending he wasn't glued to one particular person, Leon's heart fluttered, and he smiled back.

“How are Hop and Victor doing? Last I heard Victor in particular was blasting through gyms.”

Leon nodded. He turned his attention back to the screen, though he wasn't actually taking in anything. “He is. Rai I...” he had thought about this a lot. He'd been watching all of the battles the two were involved in. He'd sponsored them, after all. He was endlessly proud watching Hop, but with Victor... “I think he might beat me.”

Raihan stiffened at that. When Leon looked up, he was staring back, slack-jawed. “What? Come on, don't talk like that, _unbeatable Champion Leon_.” Leon snorted, “but really, I've known you for years – I know your strategies better than anyone, and I still can't get an upper hand on you.” There was no bite in his words when he talked about being unable to win. He enjoyed battling Leon, and yearned to one day get the upper hand, but Leon knew that he was happy with his position as gym leader. Plus, he knew how much of a strain being Champion was from knowing Leon.

Leon hummed and tapped his fingers absently on Raihan's thigh. The thought of losing his title was on one hand a relief. He'd have time for Raihan, and his family. But he'd also be nothing. A part of him wondered if people would even care about him if-when he lost. He hadn't given it much thought. As with everything else, he was too busy to.

“I'll be okay,” he lied, so that he could see Raihan smile again. He did. He did, and it was beautiful.

“Have I ever--” Raihan paused, “Um. Have I ever told you I love this place's fries?'

Leon blinked. “Last time I ordered here you said they were soggy and terrible.”

Raihan laughed, and it seemed almost... nervous? Odd. “Maybe they changed something. Or maybe I was just in a foul mood last time.”

Leon was fairly certain Raihan wasn't telling him something. He leaned up and prodded his cheek. “Tell me,” he whined, dragging out the vowel sound. Raihan snorted and batted his hand away.

“Lee, even if you lose, you know I- we – me, and Sonia, and your family, we all love you, right?”

Leon's breath hitched. “I'll hold you to it.”

Raihan smiled, “You won't need to. When have I ever not been there for you, Lee? I'm the greatest friend in the world.” He smiled the wide, cocky grin he would do during his gym matches.

Leon hummed, “You are.”

“Now,” Raihan reached over and grabbed the remote. He turned off the telly and adjusted, slinging his arm over Leon's shoulder. “Why don't you help me pick out my team for the Championship tournament. I'm gonna need a killer team if I want to kick Victor's arse before he even gets to you.”

Leon rolled his eyes, but nonetheless leaned over to look at Raihan's list of potential Pokemon. “Well, you haven't used Flapple in a while...”

He and Raihan fell into an easy back-and-forth, then. They eventually decided not to use the Flapple because, as much as he liked her, she'd been given to him as a love confession, by someone he didn't reciprocate feelings for, and he felt weird about that.

Leon remembered asking, at the time, if he did have feelings for anyone. He remembered shaking a bit when he asked, afraid and eager for the answer. Raihan had only shrugged, though.  _Maybe I do. Not gonna let you tease me about it, though_ . The way he had smiled after saying it had seemed fake. It didn't meet his eyes. Leon wondered why, but he didn't know how to help, other than assuring that Raihan could tell him anything. He'd laughed at that and shook his head.

“What about your Haxorus?”

“Yeah, I haven't brought Midnight out for a while.”

Leon paused, “Why does only he get a nickname?” He might have asked before, but he didn't recall the answer, if he'd been given one at all.

“Because you gave him to me,” Raihan said, his words coming out barely above a whisper. “He's special. You- you're special to me.”

His face was close. Too close.

So Leon pulled away.

“That sounds good. I'm sure he's eager to be out of the box.”

Raihan blinked, and once again, he had that look on his face. That one that Leon couldn't quite grasp, and Raihan always refused to explain.

“Yeah, I think you're right.”

Within an hour, Leon was dozing on the couch. He felt Raihan drape a blanket over him before he went off to his bed.

**Present**

Leon sits on Raihan's lap, in Raihan's hotel room, and he weeps. Raihan lets him. He thinks of all the lies he's told people over the past months. He thinks of all the denial he's been in. He thinks of Rose, telling him over and over, that he would be fine. He thinks about how he smiled and said thank you, and how he'd never believed it, and how it still hurt.

At one point he thinks he feels Raihan shaking, too, and he feels awful about it. He doesn't want his friend to be crying. But when Leon tries to cough out an apology, Raihan hugs him closer, and the closeness, the absolute refusal to push Leon away, only makes him weep more.

He cries until he can't anymore, and then he slumps against his friend.

“I'm gonna get you some water, alright?” Raihan whispers, “do you need anything else? Food? I can order from that place you like. The one with the rubbish fries?”

Leon hiccups, hesitantly sliding off Raihan, “Said you liked 'em,” he mumbles.

Raihan hums, “Little white lies. Taking that as a yes though.”

Leon sits back and covers himself with a stray blanket. He stares up at the ceiling, considering, now that he's gotten all the biggest emotion out, what he's going to do. As he often does when he's stressed, he makes a list in his head. What needed to be done?

One – Rose's empire needed cleaning up. He might be able to help with that.

Two – He had to apologize to a lot of people, for never being there, for not being enough. At the thought, he manages to choke out another sob. It hurts. His throat feels raw.

He can't bring himself to continue his list.

Raihan arrives back and presses the glass of water into his hands. He drinks and examines Raihan.

His eyes are bloodshot, confirming that he, too, had indeed been crying. Raihan hesitates for a moment before settling down at his feet. “I ordered. Do you want to watch something? Or talk about it?”

Leon pauses, “Tomorrow? I just want to forget about it all tonight.”

Raihan smiles, soft and warm. He stands, then, and returns with a bottle of wine. Leon sits up, and Raihan reaches over to nudge him back down, “Drink your water and get some food in you first,” he says, before tipping the bottle back and taking a sip. “There's a new episode of Galar bake-off on, so c'mere.”

Leon manages to smile, and he thinks that his face hurts. He sits up, his head spinning, and takes another sip of his water, before leaning on Raihan. The television plays quietly. Raihan puts the subtitles on, because he knows Leon always misses dialogue if they don't have them on. When Leon drinks all the water in his glass, he gets up to get him another, bopping Leon's nose when he tries to protest.

The food arrives around halfway through the episode they're watching. A take-out box is passed into his hand, and when he opens it, his stomach lets out an audible rumble, which makes Raihan snort. Raihan, he notices, still ordered fries with his meal. He figures out why when he finishes his own food, and Raihan continues to let him munch on his fries. “I actually already ate,” he explains, “but eating when no one else is always feels kind of weird.”

The wine gets passed between them, and Leon's anxieties evaporate into a buzzing sensation that settles deep in his belly. He feels himself wind his arms around one of Raihan's as he nuzzles into his shoulder. He mumbles something about Raihan being a good friend, and Raihan lets him. He giggles when the bakers on the show make silly mistakes, and eventually they shift to a more dramatic cooking show, and the two of them find themselves babbling and cackling at the screen.

“No!” Leon shouts, throwing his hands in the air, “you-- you messed the whole thing up! Rai, he- he did the bread and now he-” he finds himself choking out another sob. “Buggered it all up.” Like him. He takes a shaky breath and forces a smile. Raihan is staring down at him, bleary, and a frown tugs at the corners of his mouth, and Leon thinks, he'd like to kiss there, he'd like to kiss that frown away. What he says is, “you're too pretty for this.”

Raihan snorts. He stands up and tugs Leon up, “Says the supermodel. You need to lay down.” Leon hums and wraps his arms around Raihan's middle.

“You think I'm a supermodel?” he slurs the words.

“You've literally modeled for fashion magazines, you dolt,” Raihan whispers, ruffling his hair. He guides him to the separate room that houses a king-sized bed, and helps Leon sink into it. Raihan's bright eyes shine brilliantly in the dim light of the room, illuminated only by the full moon and the pale starlight that has emerged in the hours since Leon had arrived at the hotel. Raihan bites his lip and begins to pull back, saying something about sleeping on the couch.

Leon reaches up and tugs on his sleeve. “Stay.” He whispers.

Raihan pauses, but nods, and settles down next to him. Leon rolls so that he's nestled against Raihan's chest. He thinks, not for the first time, that he never feels so secure as when he's like this.

“I wanted to win.” He whispers. He can't cry any more, but even to his own ears, he sounds pained.

“I know,” Raihan whispers into his hair.

“I'm sorry I lied to you.”

Raihan pauses, running his hand through Leon's tangled mat of hair. Eventually, he mumbles a reassurance and nestles his face into Leon's hair, his hand falling down to press against Leon's back.

He thinks about all the other things he hasn't told Raihan. And he falls asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be all in the present...... hope y'all are ready ! :3c


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the last one! Thank you so much for all your support through this. It's been a fun project for me to work on over the last month. I hope you all are happy with how it ends.

Leon's fears and anxieties manifest like a cloud in his dreams. _Raihan throws his hands up in the air, frustrated. Done with him. Sonia snaps at him. She tells him that he's been a shit friend. Hop glares at him and doesn't talk to him. He sits alone in his Wyndon apartment, and no one says anything. No one cares._

Leon wakes to light filtering through the windows and a dull, throbbing pain in his head. His chest is tight but when he realizes that- as of right now- what he'd just seen was only a dream, he calms down somewhat. He groans and buries his face in his... pillow? He blinks. He realizes his pillow has arms, and he recalls the events of the previous night. Three things hit him at once.

One – he is now _former_ champion Leon

Two – he cried far, far too much, and he still has no idea what to do about anything

Three – he's being cuddled by Raihan, in Raihan's bed

He pauses for a moment. His head is near Raihan's chest. He leans forward, pressing his forehead to it, and calms slightly at the steadiness of his friend's breathing. His eyes flutter closed. Maybe he can avoid thinking about everything a while longer.

“Mmm, finally awake?” Raihan's voice damn near sends Leon into a panic attack. He tenses, then relaxes a little as Raihan chuckles. He tightens his arms around Leon's waist and ah, yeah, he's being held like that. He looks up at Raihan, whose head is resting on the pillow, eyes sleepy, tiny smile tugging at his lips. His hair is messy, and Leon desperately wants to reach up and play with it, but he refrains. 

“Yeah.” Leon doesn't move. Raihan doesn't either.

Raihan stares at him a moment, “Do you want to talk about things now?”

Leon wants to stay here forever and never, ever talk about his feelings. He's spent so many years keeping every negative emotion stuffed into a tidy box. He supposes he tossed that right out the window, though, when he spent the better part of last night weeping in his best friend's arms. “Not really.”

“But  _should_ you?”

“Probably.”

Raihan smiles. One of his hands moves from Leon's lower back- and Leon barely holds back a whine – and begins to play with his hair. “I won't force you, but, well, I do think you should talk to someone. And who better than I, your best friend in the world?” His smile turns more cheeky then.

Leon thinks about it for a moment. Really, he doesn't know where to begin. He's never been one to talk about his feelings. He was Leon, the champion with the winning smile. Leon, an inspiration to his small home town. Leon, who managed to have feelings for his best friend for eight years without Raihan figuring it out. He's good at pretending to be okay, usually. He swallows. “I don't know what to do with myself now.” He eventually says, his voice hoarse. 

Raihan hums thoughtfully, continuing to loop Leon's hair around his long fingers, like he  _knows_ it's damn near driving Leon mad. “You could be a gym leader, like me,” he murmurs, but before Leon can reply, he continues, “but you're so damned fidgety – I can't imagine you sitting around, waiting for challengers.” And Leon smiles at how well Raihan knows him. It's funny, really. Raihan has this in-battle persona, he's high-energy and intense and over-the-top. He's still active and such outside of battle, but he loves his relaxation time. Unlike Leon, who thinks that if he stands still too long, he might explode.

“Remember that time you went to Alola?” Raihan says, his voice suddenly louder.

“Uh, I mean, I've gone a few times.” He liked Alola, mostly. He didn't care for the heat. It made it hard to wear his usual outfit- specifically, the cape. And he liked his cape. He felt weird walking around in public without it, or some sort of similar weight on his shoulders. It was grounding. 

“Right, right, but I remember last time you went, you mentioned they'd opened a battle tree, and you really liked that, yeah?” Raihan is beaming down at him, and his smile is infectious. Leon had  _really_ liked that concept. A place for trainers to fight among the best of the best – allowing them to try new styles. Few things in recent memory had made Leon as excited as battling there. He thinks he understands what Raihan is getting at, but he isn't sure where they'd put one in Galar, if he could even get the resources together...

Leon stiffens. He realizes that some prime real-estate has just opened up. “Rose's tower!” his voice comes out higher than he intends. He sits up, eyes gleaming. This is perfect! “I'll have to do a lot of paperwork, and then there's hiring, but I'll bet-” 

He stops as he feels a pressure on his wrist. Raihan has his hand around him, brows furrowed. “Hey, I think it's a great idea, don't get me wrong, but don't- don't throw yourself completely into it, hey?”

Leon frowns. “What do you mean?”

Raihan sighs and sits up. He leans back on his hands and meets Leon's eyes steadily. “I  _mean_ , you can't go from one job where you're on it all the time, to one where you're doing just that, but somewhere else. You need time to breathe, Lee. We worry –  _I worry_ ” Raihan leans forward. “You should take a break. Listen, I've seen your bank account – you can take a vacation. You think too much-”

“Thinking isn't a bad thing-”

“But you don't let yourself  _feel_ .” Raihan's voice hitches a little, and Leon flinches.

“Feel?”

“You've kept so much inside. It's not just this. Lee, you haven't talked to me about your feelings in years. You haven't talked to Sonia, or anyone as far as I can tell. You can't keep it all inside.”

It's like an invitation. Leon's heart is beating like a drum in his chest, so hard it's painful. His throat feels tight, like he might be on the verge of tears, but at the same time, it feels entirely different from last night. Raihan's face is so, so close. And he's right, he's been keeping a lot back. So much. Everything.

He had a crush on his best friend – it feels childish to say that, though. It also feels wrong, weak. Not enough.

“Raihan,” the words feel like they're floating around their heads, like they aren't grounded to anything, though he knows on some level that he's the one saying them. “I think I love you.” It feels like a lie. He  _knows_ . He  _knows_ that he loves him.

Raihan shakes, and Leon is scared for a moment that he's said something wrong, that his worst fears have come true, and Raihan is going to hate him. “I mean yeah, mate, I love you too, but why are you...” he leaves the words hanging in the air between them, and his gaze never leaves Leon.

“I want to kiss you.” Leon says.

“You should.”

“Can I?”

“Please.”

Leon leans forward. He presses his forehead to Raihan's, and he hears his friend take shaky breaths, or maybe that's him. When they kiss, it feels like everything he's ever wanted. Raihan is soft, and warm, and his lips are a bit chapped, but Leon doesn't care, not at all, because his arms are wrapping around Raihan's neck, and Raihan's arms are around his waist. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss. Raihan follows suit. He feels a tongue against his lips and he opens his mouth with a tiny whine as daggers seem to find a way into his chest at the sensation. Leon swears he feels Raihan tracing little hearts on his back, and the though makes him chuckle into the kiss. Raihan cuts him off by leaning forward, kissing insistently. Like he never wants to stop. Leon wouldn't mind.

But they have to breathe, so they break apart, just barely, and Leon is shaking like a leaf in the wind, and he feels tears forming at the corners of his eyes again, but when noise erupts from him this time, it isn't sobs. He laughs. He laughs and he buries his face into Raihan's shoulder. 

“I love you,” Raihan whispers into his hair. He kisses along Leon's jawline, his neck, his cheeks, nose, forehead, and he whispers,  _I love you, I love you, I love you_ . Like those are the only words he knows, and Leon sniffles and kisses back in the same spots and repeats the words to him.

Eventually, Raihan stops peppering him with kisses and sits back, looking at Leon with such incredible fondness, that Leon thinks he might catch fire. Thoughts crowd his mind. He wonders if he deserves his affections to be returned, he wonders if he's good enough. The thoughts are smashed to pieces, for now, by the look Raihan is giving him, like he's the most amazing thing in the world. Like he hasn't looked in a mirror recently. 

“I was so mad, when we started out gym challenge,” Leon laughs, bunching the fabric of his shorts in his hand, “and you talked about Nessa. I was so jealous, because I had a crush on you. I was an angsty fourteen-year-old about it.” He laughs again at the thought. How had it already been that long?

Raihan flushes, “I mean, I did think Nessa was pretty, but uhm,” he flops back onto the pillow and covers his eyes, “I was, admittedly, trying to make you jealous, I think. I didn't figure out until a year later, because I was dense as shite, that I was into dudes, but I just... I don't know what my logic was. I wanted you to notice what I was doing. I think, at the time, I chalked it up to rivalry.”

They both laugh at that, and Leon positions himself so that he's resting on his forearms, hovering inches away from Raihan's face. His hair falls to one side of him, blocking out some of the light from the single open window. Raihan hums happily as he reaches up to brush a hand through Leon's hair. 

“Don't think that you can get away with not talking about what else is bothering you, just because you've got me snogged silly right now.” Raihan says, leaning up to give Leon another quick kiss. “You don't make it fair, you know. How am I not supposed to fall for you when you're so damned sweet and confident, and charming, and you're  _arse_ , Lee- it's immaculate.”

Leon cackles and gives Raihan a gentle whack on the shoulder. “You're sappy. But I mean, that's part of what I love about you, along with the wit, the generosity, that wonderful sense of empathy you've got, you know, you always make people around you feels comfortable, and--”

Raihan groans and covers his face with his arms, “Stop- stop, I'm bloody well about to burst into flames, you beautiful bastard.”

Leon rolls his eyes, but settles down atop Raihan's chest. Raihan smiles at him. He smiles back.

“Have I ever told you,” Raihan says, and Leon recalls that he's been saying that a lot lately, and never finishing the thought, “that you have the most amazing smile?”

Leon smiles wider, “I think you have, actually,” he remembers a lanky boy, limbs too long for his body, out in the cold, willing to help someone he didn't know at all. “A long time ago.” 

Raihan sighs, the sound comes out dreamily. He nudges Leon up towards him so that he can trail soft, lazy kisses along Leon's neck again. “I love you so much.” It's like they're both making up for lost time.

“I love you too. I- are we,” Leon feels downright silly asking, but he wants to hear it, “we're boyfriends?”

Raihan smiles, wide and toothy. He looks downright giddy, “You're my  _boyfriend_ .” He echos. Leon's stomach twists. He knows he has tears welling up in his eyes, and his entire body buzzes with the need to  _move_ , to somehow express, physically, how excited and in love he is. Raihan seems to notice, “Mate, you look like you're about to combust.”

He was. Leon giggles like a twelve year old. He nestles close and raises his hands to tap his cheeks- an old habit he developed to dispel excess energy. It isn't doing him much good here, though, so he balls his hands into fists and presses them to his temples, applying pressure, and hums happily. Raihan laughs. He reaches up and kisses Leon's knuckles. Leon unfurls his fists and uses them instead to cup Raihan's face as he peppers kisses on the underside of his jaw and down his neck. 

Leon feels like he might scream, but instead he rolls over and grabs his phone. Raihan raises a brow, to which Leon grins wider and displays Sonia's contact information. He passes his phone to Raihan before snuggling back in. “You take better selfies.”

Raihan processes for a moment, before humming happily. He opens the camera app, and shifts around until they're in a position he deems  _good enough._ They both look like they've just gotten out of bed (even though they actually have not gotten out of bed yet). Leon's hair is a right mess, and he has dark circles under his eyes. He's wearing the hoodie he took from that stranger. Raihan has his arm around him, his eyes sleepy, an easy smile on his face, in stark contrast to Leon's deliriously happy grin. He snaps the picture and hands the phone back to Leon.

Leon sends it to Sonia with the caption  _Guess who has a boyfriend?_ Before placing it back on the nightstand. He rolls over and begins to play with the hem of Raihan's shirt, ignoring the insistent buzzing of his phone. He'll deal with it later. 

“I promise to talk about all the things I've been holding onto,” Leon pauses, “Eventually.” Raihan hums and begins to play with Leon's hair more. “But for now, can we kiss some more?”

Raihan answers by pressing their lips together. 

Raihan kisses Leon. Leon kisses Raihan. He kisses him, and he kisses him, and he kisses him.

And he hopes he'll never stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my notes for this chapter were "AND THEN THEY KISS". I like to think it ended up with a bit more meat to it, though.
> 
> I might do a little sequel one-shot I have an idea for. Haven't decided yet! But until then, you can find me at "lesbianchespin" on tumblr, or "chesnaughtz" on twitter ! I love you!


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